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Tuesday, April 14, 2015

a new beginning.

it's been approximately a year and ten months since my last post. i wrote that post in summative test weeks in high school and then i disappear until now. and now i'm on mid-term test weeks at college. (why i love to write on test weeks? does it open my mind or i just want to avoid study? well i think it's the second one haha)

well, for the this post title, it's true that now i have a whole new and different life, which is i love (at least until now.) as for a year behind, a year that i didn't post anything, actually i don't want to write it but it's still a part of my life and i don't want it to disappear just like that because i don't have any diary and i rarely upload my photos to any social media and i feel so insecure those memories will gone so i decide to post a glance of that period of time. plus i need a place to accommodate my thought since i'm introvert by nature and i don't really like to share what's on my mind to others directly, bcs it makes me feel awkward, so i will pour it here before my head explodes. (lagian siapa juga kan yg mau baca). this is a full-of-unnecessary-things-for-you-to-know post btw, so feel free to skip it anytime.

i pass the 11th grade and be the 12th grader student. it's the last grade on senior high. the hardest and the heaviest step. i really grateful that i placed at the class where my 10th grade chairmate, dita, placed too. we didn't plan to sit together again but because of this-and-that-things then we decided to sit together. today, when i remember it, i feel more grateful than before because i realize that i didn't have to adapt to a new chairmate. i know her well and she knows me too, even our background and personal life. our daily chit-chat and gossiping at 10th grade result. dita and i then got two crazy and funny friends which we often joke play chat and friends which we can trust and share with. they're he, not she. dito and bagas. bagas was my 11th grade friend, and dito was dita's 11th grade friend. they're much like elang and hafild, if you still remember, our 10th grade friends, but the different is elang and hafild lost contact to dita and i immediately after we separated at 11th grade, while bagas and dito still contacting with us even until now when we already at the different universities.

as a 12th grader student, of course we need to took study course to prepared ourselves to face final exam and sbmptn in case we didn't accepted at snmptn. i choose inten unj as my bimbel. my energy at that time was drained because of school and that bimbel because after school i went to inten immediately and the bimbel finished at 8 pm, and i got home approximately at 9. i have hypotension so i often felt dizzy and really tired and sometimes i didn't go to school when i couldn't bear it.

do you still remember my 'what should i major at?' post? in that post i said that i'll choose fsrd itb but the thing is, God led me to take other major, and other university too. Management FEB UGM. yes, ugm, this is the place where i study now. my mom was really happy when she knew that i continue my education in her former university, even if she took another major in another faculty but still, we have the same almamater in the end. well what happened then until i arrive here? like i said before, it's because God's lead. well i choose fsrd itb as my first choice in snmptn, but i didn't pass it so i have to participate in sbmptn. then because of my bimbel teacher recommendation, i put management ugm at my first choice for sbmptn. actually i already place ie islam ui but because his logic reasoning--it was because i participate in simak ui too then it will be a greater opportunity if i choose ugm as my first choice in sbmptn since i will automatically choose ui when i following simak-- and my mom was absolutely agree with him then i agreed it too. then when the announcement came, i open the sbmptn web then i accepted in management ugm. then the next week simak announcement is out and then i got accepted too. hmm. accepted at 2 top universities at once really made me grateful but at the same time, confused. but because of many factors, including my grandma from my mom in Jogja live alone only with a maid and driver, then i chose ugm istead of ui. it was and still one of the hardest decisions i've ever made, but i'm grateful with my choice. and i really felt that God is totally perfect life-designer at this rate because i've never think to choose ugm--since my friends or my shs alumni mostly choose ui or itb-- but the thing is, i think i will not as grateful as here if i chose those universities, because many contributing factors why i feel more 'click' here.

as you know, i took science major in senior high, but then when sbmptn i chose majors which belong to social group. so after national exam, i learn the social studies such as sociology, economics, geography, and history for just approximately two months. it looked heavy at first but when i went through it, it was not as heavy as it seems at first. i enjoyed to study those studies. and that was when i realized that i, myself, is more fit in social major than science. i found that it was really easy for me to understand and enjoyed the studies, and it led me to a thought that why i'm so desperately tried to understand and enjoyed science studies is just because i'm not fit in there, it was not what my real passion lie, and i'm grateful that now i know what i really like and capable of. and after i entered ugm and start studied management, not to mention that i got almost perfect GPA on my first semester without an excessive effort (like to got a 75 on chemistry or physics in senior high), that thought was growing and became stronger and led me to a conclusion: this is where i really belong.

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