i've finished the last exam of these midterm weeks yesterday, and actually i usually having a ritual, sort of, which is eating food or just refreshing for a while. this habit was first established when i was on senior high, so my kosan mates and i usually ate at a restaurant in tebet and had a karaoke for hours, or went to the mall near my school (kokas kunci or lotte) and watched the movie and then ate at one of the restaurants at the mall. but now because i'm not ngekos anymore and no one will fussy if i don't want to go out (hahahah my kosan mates are sooo rempong they will force everyone in the kosan--except ibu bapak kosan--to go out after the exam or they will stay tease the one who didn't come for days! hahaha miss u so bad guys!) so i haven't done the ritual yet, and furthermore stayed up all night for days has successfully made me headache (well i think it's because of the hypotension which usually come up because i don't have enough rest) and i just lie down on my bed for hours. and i'm writing this post because i'm quite bored and don't know what to do since i'm afraid that something will happen if i'm going out with this condition.
btw i listen to this song a lot for days so i just put it here:
btw my mama phoned me yesterday and she said that my sister was missing me so bad and she was hoping that i could come to jakarta after this exam but i can't:( i'm very guilty since i gave them wrong information that i could come to jkt after the test but i just realized that i have a schedule after the exam like a week later:( php. so sorryyyy sista and mama:(
oh i eventually found this poem written by me long time ago when i was on senior high, and i feel like this is somewhat related to me right now so i'm writing this and i don't want this poem vanish because i just wrote it on my old binder, so i'm gonna conceal this poem here instead.
She is a good pretender.
If she said to herself that 'that' certain feeling doesn't exist,
So it does.
It's the way she survives,
All her pain,
All this time.
But if you keep popping out of nowhere,
Keep appearing in front of her,
Keep having conversations with her,
She doesn't think that she can pretend anymore.
So please just stay away,
And please just disappear.
If you don't really have something important to go with her,
If you don't think she's worth it to be fight for.
Because it's better for her to wait for the right person,
Than hustle just to fall to the ground.
Just look for another girl,
And find another one.
If you think she's just a game,
If you think her feelings are just a joke.
Because it's better for her to be alone,
Than together just to feel more alone,
And to be hurt anymore.
well i actually confuse of myself because people usually write a blog so people can read it but i use this blog just for myself, primarily just for saving the memories since i'm not a social media geek and it is very rare for me to update my social media, especially for the show-off-type social media, so that i can still remember my thought at a time or just what i felt at a time. i feel like this blog is kind of my diary, and friend, because every time i write the post i feel like to talk to someone which is actually don't exist. so thank you bloggy!