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Friday, July 1, 2016

h for holiday; w for work

It's 7 in the morning and i feel like this is such a productive day, because i'm not sleeping after subuh and i do something about work --checking and editing the mou-- so i think it is a productive day haha. I feel like it's been so long since i've done this mou thing last time, and it is so exhilarating because there are many pasal-pasal which makes the mou seems like so serious and i feel like a professional haha silly.

So i was doing my first (and second) presentation(s) to the companies 3 days ago!!!. Well although i'm in the middle of the holiday but it seems like i still have to work (it is actually not work since i'm not get the salary but i responsible in it so yaudah) and it is actually not my duty to do this presentation, so i'm not neglecting my responsibility for not doing so, but i couldn't let my subordinate did it alone since she still didn't have any experience in this field (gue juga sih) but yah well two is better than one. The aim of the presentation is to attract the company to be our event's partner, so the company support our event and they will get benefits from it. I was soooo nervous since i am actually introvert by nature but yeah but i think we did it well.

So the presentation in the first company was at 8 in the morning, and me and my friend still hadn't met yet so we decided to meet first at 7. But the company is sooo far from my house and the traffic is definitely crazy at the morning to get there so i decided to leave my house at 5 after subuh. My friend and i actually already prepared the ppt for presentation but it turned out that we only have to explain our event verbally, and we only gave them the proposal. And the person said that there is a meeting at 3 and it's about internship, and it will be attended by many companies and he said that we could join him to go there, so we had to back to his office at 2. Then, the second presentation was at 11, at the company which is fortunately near the first company, so we went to the second company at 10 and do the presentation at 11. Terus habis itu kan gabut nungguin sampe jam 2, so because i'm on my period we decided to wait and had lunched at mcd near there until 1, then we back again to the first company. We waited until 2.20 but the person didn't contact us. Then at 2.30 he said that he had meeting with the presdir but the presdir was late so the meeting with presdir had been postponed and he couldn't go to the appointed meeting so sad:( and he said that my friend and i aja yang pergi because the meeting didn't have the formal invitation so basically everyone can join (yah still but only some people know this information so it's not like pertemuan untuk umum gt) so we decided to nekat pergi to the meeting at kuningan. The traffic was sooo crazy and we arrived at 4!!! so late omg. But we still decided to go to the 10th floor, where the meeting held. TAUNYA bentukan meetingnya adalah the people sit at the small circle tables, and there were approximately 10 tables. Minder lah, zonk. Udah telat terus bukan siapa-siapa. So we decided to back home at last huhu padahal it consumed our time and our energy but yaudahlah bukan rejeki. And i arrived home at 8 because of the traffic!

BUT THE SURPRISING THING WAS......two days ago at 4 in the afternoon the person of one company who met me the day before contacted me and said that they are interested to support our event YAY!!! So gercep me likey! Alhamdulillah rejeki ga kemana emang. I feel like what i sacrifice the day before is not in vain. I think the title of this post should be change to "h for holiday, h for happy, h for hooray, w for wow, w for woyooo" but it is too long i think.
So the mou that i checked and edited this morning is the mou for the company who support us. *\:D/*

You know what, i had strange feeling at the beginning of this holiday because despite i already in jkt and not in jogja but i'm still thinking about my responsibility, about the work. Whereas my superiors and my partner are quite selo, i questioned them many thing about work-related-things but the way they respond it just like 'selo ae' or like it's not important and even not respond it despite it is a crucial thing and i feel like the one who ribet sendiri, it was just yesterday that the chat start talking about this again seriously, idk it's just me who feel it or it really is. I know that it is in the middle of holiday so people are busy with their own activities but i am in the middle of holiday too, yah but i know that everyone has their own priority so i just can't blame them. Back again, so i actually don't have to do so in fact, but i just can't. I can't leave my subordinates to do their job alone and just controlling and reading their progress. I want to be involved with them. It's not like i want to be involved in everything they do, i give them soo many spaces for them to explore themselves, but i feel like if they are really need help i will help them if i can. So i kind of blaming myself because i'm doing so, but i don't know if my judgement is right or not, so i can't said 'it's against my better judgement' or 'it is my best judgement' because i just can't decide it is actually the right judgement or not. But now i'm happy and not blaming myself again for doing so, yah but i still don't know it is right or not. I just hope it is right.

Since this post title is h for holiday so i am going to tell you about what i've done this holiday.

I watched one of korean drama which is so popular lately, and well i like it so i played it over and over haha alay. I also watch the nat geo yay yay. Well, i'm afraid of animals, to touch them, but watching them on the tv is definitely different. I love dolphins and pandas, they are way too cute. I was so disappointed when i couldn't see the dolphins when they were jumping beside the boat when i went across the sea from an island to another island because it was in the middle of the night, it was very dark outside i could see the stars above --even the falling stars too!-- clearly, so i could only hear the sound of water splashed when they were jumping. And i also got teary --lebay sih maybe because because i was on my period lol-- when i knew that some tribes in the world are hunting them for food! Omg there are billions of fish out there but why it has to be the dolphins? They are kind and they help humans too (kata ensiklopedia zaman gue kecil sih udah rada lupa). I read that they help humans when the humans drown into the sea and bring them to the nearest beach! Yeah whtvr not my business tho tapi kasian.

I also re-read my favorite novel (harry potter, yes, all of them), and when i read the 6th book, i realized something when i read this line:
It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew -- and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents -- that there was all the difference in the world.
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

When i read this, i realized something important. I took all of my responsibilities not because i was dragged to it. I have the very rights to reject it, but i am not. I have my reason. The last time i took a responsibility was because i want to improve my presentation skill because like i said before, i am introvert by nature and i tend to be very nervous and my palm begin sweaty and soooo cold when i am doing the presentation, so i need to practice harder than they are who gifted at this thing. And my seniors said that this is the very right opportunity to improve the skill, so i took it, even tho the cost i sacrifice is not small. So the paragraph remind me something that had been forgotten from my mind, it is me who choose it, it means that i enter the fight because i chose it, not because i was dragged to it, and it is definitely different thing. I can't describe it by words but it really awakens some certain feelings and i just got my spirit to do my responsibility, which is at the last post like went away somewhere. Well actually at first i kind of thinking positive but many people like looking the responsibilities as a negative thing and see me as tumbal so i was intimidated and start having negative thought and felt like i need support from people but thanks to j.k. rowling now i realize it and i am ready to fight like harry when he fought voldy yay expelliarmus!!!!!!!!!!!

I think this holiday really motivated me to do my best the next semester. --or maybe because i just need the holiday to recharge my energies and physic and above all, my mind and psychologist, after all i'm 20 and still labile-- It's like the universe conspires in getting me to do my job well. My job as a daughter, as a student, as a person who held responsibility, and as a person itself. BTW i don't think i do my best last semester as a student since i often mager to enter the class and procrastinate to do my homework. Fortunately i still got good score in financial management --which is the most important course for me at last semester because i decided to choose finance as my major-- but i got not-so-good score for basic anthropology, and a not-good score for hrm. The score is not all out yet but i have bad feelings with econometrics.......... I feel like i won't pass it since i stupidly misread the instruction in the final test omg!!!!! Super zonk tingkat dewa but yaudahlah mau diapain lagi. Untung gue gamasuk ie.

I am very well aware that i'm gonna have many things to do next semester but i just can't forget my formal study. After all searching for knowledge is one of God's command, and moreover i always believe that women are the most responsible party in building the next generation, because they simply the first source of knowledge for their children, and since i am a woman so i am responsible. I should always remember this when i felt lazy last semester but yeah do not cry over spilt milk, so what can i do now and the future is always keep this on my mind. I even got another quote to motivate me too for this thing! So this is my motivation so i won't forget to study for next semester:

Jangan malas, ingat anak-anakmu kelak berhak lahir dari rahim seorang Ibu yang cerdas. 

Semoga gak wacana ya Allah. Aamin. Harus ambis belajar!!!!

Btw it's already the last week of ramadhan:( it is always bizarre that time flies sooo fast. I feel like i still lack religious in this holy month so i'm so sad that it's going to be over about a week from now. Yah but i still hope i can make improvements at these rest days, bismillah, and the most important thing is that i can maintain the religious spirit after this holy month end, aamiin. The hardest thing for me to do in this holy month is to wake up to pray in 2/3 night, while i usually automatically wake at 2 in the morning on the other months-_-

Btw (again) writing blog really improve my english since the last time i took test i got a decent result --or met the requirement-- for many international program. Although i know that i still make many mistakes here and there but you know, it's still help. So thank you (again) bloggy!

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